| Matt Damon / Bruce Springsteen | |
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By Neil McCormick
Well folks, it's that time again! SNL is now kicking off it's 28th season with host Matt Damon, and musical guest Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band. The show is really going to have to rebound after losing both Will Ferrell and Ana Gasteyer, but they've picked up two newbies, Fred Armisen and Will Forte (what's the show without a 'Will F.' anyways?). Over the summer SNL picked up an Emmy for "Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music, or Comedy Program", so I was hoping the writers would show up this week and show off their skills. SNL season premieres have a history of being higher than average, possibly because people are anxious after the summer months and watching repeat after repeat, but they usually manage to throw some good ideas out there. Now, before we get started, something new to my episode reviews.... :
Sports Report!
That's right, a sports report. This time around, more of a
bunch of NHL predictions. The season kicked off on Wednesday the 9th, so here's
who I think people should be watching out for this year.
Teams to watch :
Detroit Red Wings - Okay, sure it seems like an
obvious pick, but Detroit has a lot of talent in their franchise, even though
they'll be without Dominik Hasek and Steve Yzerman. Detroit is a playoff shoe-in
and a very serious Stanley Cup contender.
Colorado Avalanche - When Peter Forsberg returned to
the Avs last post-season, he absolutely dominated, and his team didn't even make
the finals. This season I think Peter Forsberg has the highest chance of winning
the league scoring race, assuming he stays healthy. Pat Roy is getting up there,
but he is such a solid goalie there should be no problems between the pipes.
Definitely keep a watch out for the Avs to be near or at the top of the Western
Conference this year.
Vancouver Canucks - The best team nobody notices...
Markus Naslund, Todd Bertuzzi, Ed Jovanovski... this will not be a team to be
missed this year. Their only weakness may be in the crease with Dan Cloutier,
but if he stays on his game he will be sufficient. I expect Vancouver to finish
very high in the Western Conference standings.
Toronto Maple Leafs - The Leafs are my favorite team
so I'll try to make this the least biased I can. This year Pat Quinn is letting
Mats Sundin and Alexander Mogily play together on the first line, something he
(for some reason unknown) would not do last season. The Leafs won their first
game 6-0 against Pittsburgh, and their first line (Sundin, Mogilny, Tucker)
combined for 4 goals and 11 points. Eddie Belfour is a risk, but he's been
successful in the past so only time will tell. If the Leafs do anything less of
the Eastern Conference finals it will be a disappointment.
Montreal Canadiens - Well the Habs are my least
favorite team, so again I'll try to make this the least biased I can. Montreal
had a very successful preseason, a follow up to their postseason success last
year. Jose Theodore is at the top of his game, and as he showed a few times last
season, he can single handedly win games for his club. Expect Montreal to be a
factor when it comes playoff time.
New York Rangers - They've spent some cash and picked
up players like Pavel Bure, Bobby Holik, and Darius Kasparitis to add to their
already decent lineup. Mike Richter will have to play well for the team to put
their potential together and get some wins. Assuming all goes well, the Rangers
could play a big factor in this NHL season.
Be sure to keep an
eye on the few NHL players who played their Junior hockey in my hometown of
Halifax, Nova Scotia. These players include :
Alex Tanguay - COL
Ladislav Nagy - PHO
Jean-Sebastien Giguere - ANA
Jody Shelley - CBJ
Anyway, without further ado... the review!
{cold opening} Cheney
Rides A Missile
Well, this was an interesting idea.
You can already notice how much the show is going to change with the absence of
Will Ferrell and his usual Bush openings. Darrell's Cheney impression is always
classic and great to watch. SNL can really have Cheney doing anything, even as
ridiculous as this, and it's still funny. The Lunchables pizza just added a nice
extra touch. A little short for an opening but it's all good. Lets get the show
rolling!
RATING : 6/10
{montage}
Hey, check it out! Semi-new opening
credits! Change is always good in my opinion, so even if these weren't as
"good" as the last ones, I still liked them better because I was
really getting sick of the old ones. The montage proved that there are five (count'em,
FIVE) featured players this season.
{monologue} Matt
Damon
This was an extremely...uhh...unique
monologue. Although it's a common belief that the host should be up there
talking to the audience the whole time, but I don't have a problem with working
a sketch into it. The dance-off sketch with Britney and Justin was pretty good,
but again, nothing special. An above average monologue because of the sketch,
but nothing more.
RATING : 7.5/10
{commercial} NRA
part one
Well it's always great when SNL pokes
fun at the NRA because they always get all hyped up about it. A pretty cool idea
I suppose, I enjoyed the surprise.
{sketch} Brian
Fellow's Safari Planet
I'm really surprised this sketch
hasn't managed to get old yet, but fortunately it hasn't. Brian's dialogue with
Matt is really what made this sketch a success. Although there really weren't
too many new ideas, the old ideas had been built on enough for it to be funny
all over again. Now don't get me wrong, I really like these sketches, but I
really think SNL should show them less often so they don't wear the character
out.
RATING : 8.5/10
{commercial} NRA
part two
"NRA reminding you to take the
safety off"... what a great message haha! The second part of this
commercial was even funnier than the first. It's about time somebody shot Carrot
Top... too bad they missed!
RATING : 7/10 (part one and two
marked as one sketch)
{sketch} Boston
Teens
I suppose this was an average Sully
and Denise sketch. These characters only have so much to offer and I think SNL
was worn them down. I liked how they claimed the Fleet Center would "never
be the Garden", and the Cox thing at the end seemed sort of last minute
written into the sketch. Anyway, this was just an average sketch, but we're
gonna need some new characters soon!
RATING : 5/10
{commercial} Nutri-Quick
This was a hilarious idea.
"Everything you need fit into one anal suppository". That was great,
as was Jeff's line "Let's just say I put my lunch... up my butt..."
Pretty ridiculous and obscure idea, but those are usually the best. Good
commercial.
RATING : 8/10
{sketch} Hannibal
Lecter Goes To College
This was a good, original idea. Matt
Damon played a hilarious Hannibal, and Horatio, Seth, and Will played great
roommates too. "...Just answer the message asswipe." This was
definitely one of the stronger sketches of the night.
RATING : 8.5/10
{music} Bruce
Springsteen and The E Street Band
Max Weinberg is the greatest drummer
ever, haha. This was a really great performance, I enjoyed it. It's not everyday
you get a guy like The Boss on the show, it was really nice for a change. Good
call, SNL!
{weekend update}
Weekend Update
I don't know what it was, but
something seemed off during this Update. Although there were a few great jokes,
my personal favorite being the Nancy Drew one and Jimmy's segment with the Black
Bear, a lot of the jokes fell flat to the audience, which is too bad. I'm
surprised to see Fred getting a character (looks recurring, doesn't he?) in his
first episode. He had a pretty cool little segment, and Jimmy's use of the
"I'm just kidding!" at the end was cool. Another high point of this
Update was Seth and Matt's commentary about the Yankees. Seth defending his Red
Sox is always great. Still, this Update fell short of it's usual guaranteed 9/10
rating.
RATING : 7.5/10
{sketch} Two
Matt Damons
This was a good sketch concept, but I
suppose it could have been carried out better. Tracy as Ben Affleck was
hilarious, and the whole concept of Parnell's character curing cancer was
humorous. I like Chris Parnell's rant after he finds out... "I'm numba one!
I'M NUMBA ONE!!" Other than that, though, this sketch really didn't have
too much to offer. Hopefully the show isn't dying down yet!!
RATING : 6/10
{sketch} Versace
Pockets
Okay this was an interesting idea,
but since I have such a hate on for Maya's Versace character, it really ruined
it for me. They're really going to have to get Horatio's Rosie O'Donnell
impression in another sketch sometime, it was hilarious!! Other than that
though, a pretty weak sketch. I think the show is dying. Noooo.......
RATING : 5.5/10
{cartoon} The
Smurfette Show
Next to Smigel's "Sex and the
Country" segment a few years back, this was the absolute worst thing I've
ever seen. It was gross. Zero. Zilch. Nada. NOTHING.
RATING : 0/10
{music} Bruce
Springsteen
This was a really nice slow song,
performed very well. Another strong performance by Bruce... he was one of SNL's
best musical guests in a long time.
{sketch} Sexbot
Back to wacky, so ridiculous it's
funny comedy. My favorite! I really liked the whole concept of this sketch, I
thought it really worked well. The funniest point was when Chris popped his head
of the can, and then Darrell said "okay....I'll try it! There's a guy in
there? I thought it was a hot chick!" Impressive sketch, really one of
those sketches that fits between Update and the end of the show.
RATING : 8/10
{sketch} Dr.
Phil
Okay when I saw Dr. Phil was getting
his own show I thought "SNL's gonna have a field day with this one".
But then I remembered Will left and that they wouldn't have anybody to do the
impression. Well, I think Jeff did an excellent job at the role. This was, in my
opinion, the sketch of the night. I laughed hysterically through the entire
thing. I love how comedy shows always exaggerate Dr. Phil's analogies that make
no sense. "The rooster only crows so many times before the mother knows the
henhouse is full of graham crackers!" Hilarious. Bring Dr. Phil back again
soon, and give him a longer sketch!
RATING : 9/10
{sketch} The War
on Iraq on NBC
LOL this was similar to a bit I saw
on Conan over the summer where he shows a commercial for some NBC special and
it's like "all of those NBC personalities you've grown to love" and it
shows clips of Einstein, Jesus, and Martin Luther King Jr. This was a similar
sort of idea, but it wasn't really that great. Just something to end the show
off on a strong note.
RATING : 6/10
{overall rating} 71
/ 100
{sketch of the night} Dr. Phil (9.5)
{quote of the night} Tracy Morgan as Brian Fellow :
"Why does that pig hate Jewish people?"
{points of interest} Two new cast members tonight, both
of them getting some airtime. Fred introduced a new character during the Weekend
Update and Will was a roommate in the Hannibal sketch as well as Santa in the
Dr. Phil sketch. Weekend Update had the lowest rating since the Tina & Jimmy
era. SNL's ratings went down 14% since last year's season premiere.
Okay, so the rating
may seem a little high. Don't forget that, starting this year, when I calculate
my averages I drop the lowest sketch from the average (in this case, The
Smurfette Show). Overall, I was pretty disappointed by this episode as a season
premiere. Usually the premieres are higher than average, but this was just plain
old average. The show did have some high points, however. Both Fred Armisen and
Will Forte had strong showings, a sign of good things to come. Also, Matt Damon
did an excellent job as a host, much better than I expected from him.
However, I'm hoping that next episode SNL will pick back up
and produce something special.