Derek Jeter / Shakira & Bubba Sparxxx

I'm not a huge fan of having athletes hosting the show, although I was pleasantly surprised when The Rock hosted a while ago. Maybe they could turn this show into something funny. I'd have to wait and see.

[ COLD OPENING ] John Ashcroft

Wow, Darrell's Ashcroft impression is impressive! It was great how Dubya came out and they started exchanging comments. Most of them were really great for a laugh. This was a very funny opening and a great way to start the show.

RATING : 9/10

[ MONOLOGUE ] Derek Jeter

Something about getting struck in the face by a baseball just strikes me as funny. I really enjoyed this monologue and I found it very entertaining. The best of the season.

RATING : 8/10

[ COMMERCIAL ] Preparation H

See my Reese Witherspoon review...

[ SKETCH ] Muchas Iglesias

This was...interesting. Jimmy's Enrique impression was pretty funny, but the rest of it was just stupid. Derek's character's talk poetry was good at first, but grew old fast. I'm surprised they're opening the sketches with this.

RATING : 5/10

[ SKETCH ] Yankee Wives

As soon as I saw the group of women in the baseball stands, I knew for sure they'd have Derek dressed up as a woman. They always seem to do that whenever a professional athlete hosts. I found this sketch long and irritating, although Derek stating that he looks like "The Rock had sex with a muppet" was clever. The high point of the sketch was when David Wells and David Cone came out as whores. (I didn't know it was Cone until Derek thanked him in the signoff).

RATING : 6.5/10

[ SKETCH ] Massage Fantasy

This was funny at the beginning when Chris was singing to Enya, but then it got old. However, the ending was hilarious and caught me off guard, so this sketch's rating goes up a bit.

RATING : 7/10

[ COMMERCIAL ] Dissing Your Dog

So funny, and yet, so true. I found this very similar to last season's Wade Blasingame commercial, but not nearly as funny. This was a good idea, but I think it could have been funnier. I still found it very well done, however, and I laughed at a few parts. A pretty good commercial, as long as they don't repeat it 12 times before the season's over.

RATING : 8.5/10

[ SKETCH ] Derek Jeter's Taco Hole

I didn't get the point of this. This was really stupid and a royal waste of my time.

RATING : 2/10

[ SKETCH ] Dealing With Mom And Dad

This was a good sketch. I loved it when Derek came in after a few seconds and said "Jeez man, your kid sucks!". It was amusing to see Chris beat the crap out of Jeff and Jimmy too. This was the best sketch of the night, so far, but it still wasn't that great. Good, but not great.

RATING : 7.5/10 

[ MUSIC ] Shakira

I had never heard of Shakira before the show. I'll remember this performance however. The mute button came in handy.

[ WEEKEND UPDATE ] With Jimmy Fallon & Tina Fey

Weekend Update saves the show once again! The joke about China sending a man to the moon was quite possibly the funniest joke on Weekend Update this season. In fact, most of the jokes were really funny. And to top it all off, they had the Point-Counterpoint segment with Seth and Derek. "Derek Jeter Sucks; No, I Don't" Hilarious! The George Harrison tribute at the end was great. This update was essential to this boring show.

RATING : 9.5/10

[ SKETCH ] Osama Bin Laden

Well, Will looked a lot like Bin Laden. And I guess it's hard to do an impression of him, so I'll give him credit. This sketch was kinda stupid though, and I found the only funny part to be when he offered his followers a bootlegged copy of Harry Potter.

RATING : 6.5/10

[ SKETCH ] The Perm

This sketch was long, boring, and their attempt at a funny ending failed miserably. I'm very disappointed.

RATING : 3/10

[ MUSIC ] Bubba Sparxx

Heh, it's like Eminem, who ate himself four times. I guess he couldn't decide if he was hot or cold, so by wearing his jacket half on/half off, he could be moderately warm. Ridiculous. I thought this was a joke at first.

[ SKETCH ] Season's Greetings

Well although it was pretty much exactly the same as the two times they did this last season, it's still quite funny. I never knew that Horatio actually played that guitar until he started soloing at the end. A good way to end a disappointing show.

RATING : 7/10

[ NOVEL ] My Big Thick Novel By Jack Handey

"...as I looked around the nursery..." I don't get it.

RATING : 0/5*
* - not counted towards episode's final rating

   [ OVERALL RATING ] 66 / 100

   [ BEST SKETCH ] Dealing With Mom And Dad ( 7.5 )

   [ BEST QUOTE ] "If your idea of getting stoned involves actual stones, I'd say you should investigate the possibility that you might be a terrorist." - Darrell Hammond as John Ashcroft.

   [ POINTS OF INTEREST ] Don is showing his age, announcing next week to be hosted by "Ralph Jackman". Bubba Sparxxx proves that jackets should come with written instructions.

Well, this wasn't much of a show. In fact, I was fairly disappointed. I expected much more. Hopefully next week's show will be better, seeing how it's being hosted by an actual actor, although I'm not knocking Derek, he did an excellent job.